The Law of Averages: Do Your Friendships Predict Your Net Income?
When you were younger, did your parents ever warn you about the company that you kept?
They would say. Those kids are no good. They will just lead you into trouble.
You would shrug it off, and still hang with the group of kids they warned you about. But your parents’ warnings were valid — hanging around with those kids always got you in trouble.
Still, it was no big deal who you hung around with, you just wanted to socialize and have fun.
You never realized that your choice of friends would have an effect on your life.
As an adult, the same rules of socialization still apply. Who you associate with has a huge impact on your life. You might not even realize it, but the behaviors of those you socialize with become behaviors that you pick up.
Therefore, it is wise to carefully choose the company that you keep.
The Law of Averages
Have you ever heard the saying, “you are a product of your environment?”
Your environment has a big influence on your unconscious behavior.
Your reaction to people and situations are based upon the the environment that has molded you.
Merriam-Webster defines “the law of averages” as: an observation that probability influences everyday life so that over the long-term the possible outcomes of a repeated event occur with specific frequencies.
This definition basically says that what you immerse yourself in is what you become. People are easily influenced by their environment. Your environment consist of the people, behaviors, and images that you have to interact with on a daily basis.
The things that individuals do, and the rules that dictate their thought processes, are usually born of the influences surrounding them.
The Law of Attraction
The “law of attraction” states: by focusing on positive or negative thoughts a person brings positive or negative experiences into their life. Like attracts like.
Napoleon Hill, the author of, Think and Grow Rich, was a staunch supporter of the law of attraction. Throughout the book, he would talk about how you must always have positive thoughts in order to produce a successful life. He interviewed many successful people, and the one thing that he gathered from them all was that they had an unwavering belief in themselves — no matter the circumstances they were dealing with.
If you are friends with people who don’t know what opportunity is, you will never know how to position yourself to receive opportunities. You can’t attract millionaire opportunities while thinking like an employee. Being surrounded by small thinkers attracts limited opportunity.
Your success begins when you start making a positive shift in your mind.
Mindset Plays a Big Role
Have you ever been around a negative person?
They are always talking about how they want their life to change for the better, but they are so pessimistic that their lives never change. It is draining to be around them. You can either try to avoid that person, or you stick with them and become just as pessimistic as they are.
It is as if their negative life has transferred over to yours.
Do you know average people?
We all know average people — folks who are comfortable with just getting by. Many of our friends are average people. They don’t venture out of their comfort zone. As long as they aren’t destitute, they’re OK with a life of mediocrity.
An average existence is one of the hardest things for people to escape. A mediocre social environment conditions you to shy away from anything that requires you to exert yourself beyond a basic level. You fear taking unknown risks.
For instance, consider the way people behave at the gym. You have those people who workout hard. These are the people who push themselves to lift heavy, and exert themselves till their muscles can’t take it anymore.
Then there are those who barely push themselves. They barely sweat, choosing only to walk on the treadmill, or lift weights that don’t strain their muscles at all.
The gym members who don’t exert themselves tend to look on with amazement at those who do. They ask questions about how to improve their workout and try to mimic the behavior of those people who put their all into their workouts. It doesn’t last long, though. They often revert back to the behavior that they are comfortable with.
This happens because they aren’t used to being pushed to become excellent.
When they leave the gym, they most likely go back to being around friends who don’t workout. Their friends criticize them, saying that they are wasting time working out.
Alternatively, their friends influence them to make unhealthy choices and negatively impact the desired progression to be made in the gym.
Your friends either pull you down or lift you up. Their mindset is designed to make their friends think and act as they do. The average behavior of the group becomes the status quo.
Average people don’t like to be reminded of their failures. If they see you succeeding, it makes them feel self conscious about their lack of motivation, and the consequences of that lack in their life. Sometimes, their sense of inadequacy causes them to lash out.
Unfortunately, they might try to sabotage your growth when it threatens their world. They will try to remind you about who you used to be. They may criticize you for trying to be better than them.
You have the choice — either make them happy by remaining as mediocre as they are, or allow your need for improvement to rule the decisions you make.
Improving Your Circle of Friends = Improving Your Life
Average people think and wish for a better life. Successful people think and take immediate action to create a better life for themselves.
If you want better results and more success in your life — but you aren’t producing those desired results — there may be a devastating reason why:
You aren’t around people who can show you how to make your wishes a reality.
Your current group of friends can only show you a life that they are used to, because they have reached their ceiling. While not happy, they are comfortable and have become relatively complacent. They can’t strive for anything more, even though they often dream about just that.
You need to be in the company of people who have no ceiling, pushing themselves and those around them to constantly improve — people who are never satisfied with their life. These people believe that much more can be achieved.
Take Lebron James, for example.
He is a naturally gifted athlete, arguably one of the best basketball players in the world right now. During his first run with the Cleveland Cavaliers, he consistently led them to the playoffs and even an NBA Final, but he couldn’t close the deal. He left Cleveland for Miami, learning how to be a leader and champion in the process. He came back to Cleveland, and delivered a championship to the city, something they have waited decades to see.
What changed for Lebron?
Lebron went to an organization where excellence was the standard.
Pat Riley, the team President, was a leader who challenged his team to be the best. His friend Dwayne Wade, who was the leader of Miami, turned his leadership role over to Lebron in order to push him to be better.
Those four years Lebron spent in Miami shaped his leadership mindset, teaching him how to truly run a team, on and off the court. He understood what it took to win a NBA championship, because he chose to surround himself with people who could teach him the championship process.
Make Your Transition Towards Better Friends
As an entrepreneur, your goal is to build a business that allows you real financial freedom.
You want a lifestyle that embodies success, but what if no one in your immediate circle has achieved this for themselves?
You have two options.
- First option, try to produce success on your own, not having a clue about what you are doing.
- Second option, put yourself in the company of successful people, and learn from them.
Smart entrepreneurs seek the wise counsel of experienced business owners. This helps them to avoid making common business mistakes and learn how to keep excelling once a certain level of success is achieved.
Mentors help you identify your weaknesses, and educate you on how to improve them. They also teach you how to leverage your strengths, in order to exponentially grow your business. This sort of guidance is invaluable, because they provide you the opportunity to see things that you didn’t notice yourself.
Even the successful entrepreneurs you look up to still seek the guidance of mentors. No one, no matter their level of success is done learning. Once you believe you know it all, you set yourself up for failure.
If you are in need of mentor, make a list of successful people that inspire you. You want to make a list because some people may be too busy to mentor, or won’t respond at all. Reach out to each person on your list. Communicate your admiration for what they have achieved in their life. Share with them your story. Let them know your aspirations, and how you would be grateful if they took the time out to impart their wisdom on to you.
If you get a yes, soak up every bit of information given to you. Don’t take this opportunity for granted. Not only will you benefit from receiving valuable knowledge, you may be given the opportunity to be in the company of other highly successful people — being invited out to dinners, attending member only events, or sitting in on important meetings.
The law of averages and law of attraction are heavily involved in the process of seeking out and benefiting from a mentorship.
If you want to be constantly motivated to work hard and improve yourself and your business, you need to network with people who will demand that sort of effort from you.
The best people to surround yourself with are those who will cut you off if they feel like you are settling, or feel like you are weighing them down. Harsh, but true.
Successful people have very high expectations of everyone they let into their circles. That is why successful people tend to primarily have friendships with people who are like themselves. They can’t allow an underachiever to distract their focus.
If you need some places to find success minded people, here are a few:
- Meetup: This is a website that focuses on bringing like minded individuals together to socialize and learn from one another. Meetup has various groups dedicated to entrepreneurship, small business, sales, marketing, and leadership. All areas an entrepreneur can improve on through peer-to-peer insight.
- Dynamite Circle: Do you want to be around entrepreneurs who are 100% focused on building great businesses? Then you need to become a member of this group. It has been an absolute game-changer for Justin & Joe’s business and network. This is a exclusive, paid membership community of entrepreneurs who are location independent. If travel and lifestyle was a motivating factor for your choice to become an entrepreneur, you will love this group.
- Mastermind Groups: These type of groups are designed to give in-depth feedback about members’ current business situations. Each person discusses their challenges, and is given feedback from the group on how to correct their issues. Every member is held accountable, expected to set goals that are shared with the group, and provided feedback about their ongoing progress.
What are your current weaknesses as an entrepreneur? Where is your business falling short?
Network with people who are experts in your area of weakness. The key to success is admitting that you need others help in order to get to where you want to be in your business life and personal life.
Evaluate Your Current Friendships
Take inventory of your life. Who do you need to let go? Who are the type of people that you need to spend more time with?
You don’t have the time to waste on people who will hold you back in life. There are far too many people who are failing in life or settling on being average. You can’t be one of them.
How many of your close friends are successful? Go on. Count on your fingers or write it down. We’ll wait.
What does this say about you?
If it is less than at least a hand, it says that you need new friends.
‘How many of your close friends are successful? Go on. Count on your fingers or write it down. We’ll wait.’
Thank goodness there are ways to measure success beyond money. The two teachers, one nurse and policeman I know worked hard to get where they are and seem genuinely fulfilled and happy in their lives.
I understand the point the article is trying to make, but ‘Who do you need to let go’?
There’s no such thing as an average life, and hopefully no such thing as too many friends.
More friends is always a good thing. The point that should be taken is that if we want to grow, we sometimes have to choose who we decide to spend more time with.
If you look at the teachers, the policeman, and the firefighter, I imagine a lot of their friends that they spend a lot of their time with are likely in the same or similar professions.
Likewise, to grow our internet businesses, it can be incredibly helpful to choose who we want to associate with.
The only people that should be let go from life, in my opinion, are those who are toxic to your goals or toxic people in general. Best to avoid those for sure! 🙂